Who I Truly Love
by Cui
Summary: Ikuto is living with Amu in secret, Tadase has finally confessed his love to Amu, Nikaido-sensei is acting weird, and Amu has finally realized who she truly loves! this story may turn into some lovely lemonade...XD takes place bw ep 23-26 of Doki
1. Storm

**A/N**: I just started watching Shugo Chara Party recently (on ep. 4! Woo! XD) and I was suddenly inspired by all the lack of drama, action, and sexual tension (seriously! Without ikuto its just booooring)! So I decided to write my own! Woo! This is supposed to be a romance, and focuses mainly on Amuto 333 yes, I'm one of THOSE fan girls lol ^^. The story takes place between episodes 23-26 of Shugo Chara Doki. Basically, Ikuto is living with Amu and sleeping in her bed with her(sometimes), Tadase has confessed his love for Amu and is now calling her Amu-chan(woo first name!), and Yuu Nikaido no longer works for Easter, but is now a "real" teacher and teacher of Amu's class. Ok? Everybody caught up? Cool! So let's get to it! Pls R&R it's been a LOOOOOONG time since I've written a fanfic, and my first for shugo chara! So, yay! Glad to be back! I tried my VERY best to keep everyone in character, so hopefully did! :D

~I don't own shugo chara or the sexiness that is ikuto (waaaah X,D)

~I don't make any profit off these stories, UNLESS SMILING IS A PROFIT :D lol

Enjoy 3

**Who I Truly Love**

By Cui ^^

**Amu's POV**:

I twirled a loose strand of hair around my fingers, and stared blankly out the class room window. It was raining…again, for like the third day in a row. I sighed. It was dark as night outside, though it was only 2 in the afternoon. The dark storm clouds made a tight wall, so no sunlight could poke through. I could see my reflection in the glass. I looked bored. I was bored. The bright artificial lights of the class room seemed out of place on a day like today. I really just wanted to go home. I wondered what Ikuto was doing. Had he kept his word? Did he really not leave my room? I smirked. Couldn't trust that guy far as I could throw him. But, what else could I do for my little stray? Whoa, _my_ little stray? Did I really just think that…? Ikuto wasn't _my_ anything. Despite myself I blushed a deep red that the window gladly reflected back at me. Stupid windows.

--"Hinamori-san!" I jumped, startled out of my daydreaming.

"Hinamori-san, please pay attention. There will be plenty of time to daydream when you get home." Nikaido-sensei had an irritated look on his face.

"Ah! Yes sir! Sorry, sensei." The other students giggled, and whispered. I blushed again. Nikaido-sensei sighed. "Please stand up and read the three lines where we left off." I stared at him blankly. We were reading a book? I must have been daydreaming for a while. "Um…"

"Page three, paragraph two, line eight, Hinamori-san." Nikaido-sensei smiled. His auburn hair was curly and all out of place again today. "Thank you, sensei." Embarrassed, I turned to the page in the book on my desk.

""_But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here.""_

Eh? Why did this remind me of my stupid stray? He said something similar to those lines last night, didn't he? What was it…?

"Thank you, Hinamori-san." Nikaido-sensei smiled, jerking me out of my reverie again. He was always smiling these days. He turned to the class. "Tonight I want you to read the next chapter of our text book "_Discovering Wonderland_" and prepare some sort of presentation to go along with your favorite lines. It can be a play, or a movie, or just showing off some drawings. Either way, I want to see your creativity. Let your imagination run wild." He grinned, "Everybody got that?" "Yes, Sensei!" the whole class replied happily. Everyone loved Nikaido-sensei. I was happy to finally see him smiling with a real smile. "Then class dismissed!" Everyone cheered and hurried out of the class room.

I hurriedly gathered my things, eager to get home as fast as possible. Even if I could rely on Ikuto not to move there was no telling what that other kitty would be doing. Specifically why I left my charas there to keep watch, but without them hovering around me I felt sort of lonely. I wasn't really concentrating on much else around me. I was just thinking about Ikuto in my house, in my room, probably on my bed…

That must be why I didn't hear Tadase-kun the first time he said my name.

"Amu-chan?" He leaned in closer and looked into my eyes. "Amu-chan are you okay? Your face is all red. Do you have a fever?" He lifted one of his gently hands and placed it on my face. I blushed an even brighter red. "Oh! Your face is burning up!" Tadase-kun had a worried look on his face. "I have some guardian work I have to do, but if you like I can walk you home." His blonde hair seemed a bit tousled and out of place. He seemed a bit hurried. I sighed. As much as it would've been nice to have him walk me home it really would've been selfish. He had so many other things he had to do.

I shook my head. "Thank you," I smiled and tried to act normal. "but I'll be fine. It's probably just the weather…" yeah thunderstorms and teenage boys hiding out in your room will do that to you…

He still looked concerned, but kept glancing toward the door. Suddenly someone out in the hall shouted, "Hotori-sempai! The meeting's about to start!" I laughed. "I swear I'm fine. Now go or else you're gonna be late." He smiled his sweet princely smile, and waved as he swiftly left the classroom. I sighed. He truly had such an angelic and innocent character, so different from his loud and demanding chara, Kiseki.

Eh?! I suddenly glanced around. I was the last one left! I quickly grabbed all my things and headed out the door when suddenly—

"Hinamori-san?" aaah! I didn't have time for this!

"Yes, sensei?" I turned back to look at him and nearly jumped out of my skin. Nikaido-sensei was…so close. I gasped. I didn't even hear him come up behind me. My back was against the wall next to the closed classroom door. I tried to stare into his eyes. I was looking for an answer, but he wasn't looking at my face. His eyes were slowly traveling from my feet, up my legs, across my chest, up my neck and finally he met my eyes. His face wasn't cheerful or bright. He looked dark and thoughtful. "N-Nikaido-sensei…?" He placed one hand on either side of the wall beside my face, trapping me within his strong arms. When he finally spoke his voice sounded deep and dangerous. Just like the old Nikaido-sensei who used to work for Easter.

"Y'know," he grinned a sideways smile that made me tremble, " you're very beautiful, Amu-chan…"

**A/N**: woo! End of chapter 1!! XD if I don't get some reviews I won't write anymore! Bwahahaha! Lol so, is nikaido-sensei feeling something for amu? What is ikuto doing? Is tadase going to come back in?! you'll have to wait to find out! XD woo! We're getting in the good stuff now~ I plan to update with 1 or 2 chapters every week (prolly every Friday and Saturday ^^) and sometimes in between depending on how many ppl read it :D so look forward to the next chapter! Thanks for reading!

~bye bye! 3


	2. Warmth

**(A/N): back again for ch 2! Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter 3 I don't plan on making this story too long (10 chappies tops…), but I'll enjoy every minute of writing it! ^^ and I hope you'll enjoy reading it too! :D**

**And now on to ch 2! XD**

**Amu's POV** still (but don't worry it's not for the whole chapter ^^)

"W-What?" I stared wide eyed at Nikaido-sensei as his face drew closer to mine. He kept moving closer and closer until he was able to rest his forehead on my own. He chuckled.

"Even like this," his long arms on either side of my face fell gently back to his sides, but he continued to lean on me, "I still can't keep your attention?" His golden eyes glittered with mirth, and he suddenly burst out laughing.

"Eh?!" I could feel my face turning bright red again. "What the hell just happened?!" I gasped out. Nikaido-sensei stood up straight, and casually flopped on top of his desk, crossing his legs in a very "fuck the world" sort of way. He stared up at the ceiling, and chuckled again. He lazily swung his head to face me. I hadn't moved. Or rather I couldn't move. I was so shocked! "What the hell was that?!" I demanded again.

"Now, now," he smiled, "we must watch our language around Sensei, right?" he waved a finger at me as a mother would when gently scolding her child. "Go on home now, Amu-chan. We wouldn't want your parents to worry…" he heaved himself off his desk, and sauntered over to me again. I shut my eyes, suddenly frightened by this man. I mean, he was a whole lot taller than I was, and probably stronger too,…but he never touched me. I opened my eyes curiously, and noticed that the room was empty. He was gone. I searched around the room, and suddenly noticed that the class room door was wide open. Not wasting any time I clutched my things, and ran out of the classroom. In fact I ran all the way to the school's gates. I wasn't really looking where I was going, I admit it, but I had already expected for everyone to be gone. So, when I bumped into _that_ dark figure waiting by the entrance of my school (and the exit, come to think of it…) I was startled enough to drop all of my things. I was about to fall to, until I felt those familiar arms wrap around my waist, and save me. I glared at those dark blue eyes.

"Ikuto!"

**Ikuto's POV ^^**

"I told you to stay home! What if someone from Easter sees you?" She began glancing around nervously. I smiled.

"But if I stayed at _our_ home that would've meant that I didn't pick you up like a good boyfriend should." I teased.

I waited for it for just a few seconds before…ah! There it was, her trademark blush. Aaaaand, she was glaring at me again. Her honey colored eyes showed every bit of embarrassment she was trying to hide with her shouting.

"Y-you're not my boyfriend! And it's _my_ home, not "our_"_ home!" wow did she just make air quotes…

"Oh? But we already live together, and sleep in the same bed…"

Hmm, so her face could get redder.

"S-shut up! What if someone hears you?" She glanced around again. I smirked. Teasing her really was fun. She bent down to retrieve her fallen things, her face still red as the rising sun on our flag (**A/N: lol XD**). It was obvious she was avoiding my eyes, but I wouldn't have that. I bent down and gathered up the rest of the things she missed. She glared at me again, but she wasn't angry. At least, that's not what I saw in her eyes. It was almost like she didn't know how to react to anything I did other than with her trademark glare. Maybe "glare" was just her default setting.

She looked away. "Where's Yoru?" She seemed pretty eager to change the subject. I shrugged.

"I think him and your charas said they were hanging out with your little sister and her friends tonight."

"So they're at home?"

"No, I overheard the kid from upstairs saying that she was spending the night at a friend's house, and the charas wanted to go play too." A cold wind suddenly shot around us, and the rain began to pick up again. Crap, just when I thought we were in for a clear night. Amu abruptly grabbed my wrist and began running.

"C'mon! Let's get home before it really starts pouring!" I stared up at the foreboding sky full of dark gathering clouds. Hm, I really didn't think that we'd make it before-

BOOMKRAAKA **(A/N: yes, this is thunder._.)**

"Kyaaa!" Amu jumped, and clung to me impulsively. The thunder pealed through the sky like bombs in a war zone. I clutched her in return, smiling to myself.

"Want me to protect you from the scary thunder?" Ah yes, the blush+glare attack. I was beginning to know it so well…

"Ugh, just let me go! I just got a little startled by the noise!" she huffed.

Rather than listen I figured it would be much more fun to hold her just a bit tighter than before. "I don't want to let you go yet." I was being honest. Amu was simply so warm…I wanted to hold on just a bit longer…

She blushed again, and then jerked her way out of my cold arms. She turned to glare at me. She didn't say anything at first, but she looked contemplative. As if she were thinking hard about what she was going to say.

The streets around us were quiet. It was that odd time of day where everyone had already gotten home from work or they had already gotten to work or school. The skies were an angry steel color. There were huge thick clouds that clung to each other, and fully blocked the sun from poking any of its joyful rays through from the other side.

"Why.." Amu finally seemed to be able to say what she needed. I glanced at her from half lidded eyes. The stormy weather like this always made me feel tired, and my body had already been acting weak ever since I had gotten my violin back. The pressure from the coming rain was really starting to bear down on me.

"Why, don't you take the danger you're in seriously?" Amu suddenly cried out.

My body was starting to feel heavy and cold…again. I always felt cold, like ice was weaving its way through my veins. "Can we go home now?"

Amu narrowed her eyes, "Don't ignore my question! You're in real danger, and you always act so so…_cool_ about all of it. As if you don't even care! Don't you even understand what they could do to you?"

I sighed, and looked back towards the sky. "Can we please go home?"

She was really mad now. "Does it matter? Why do you want to rush home all of a sudden, anyway? We'll get there when we get there!"

Her golden eyes were burning with frustration. It was cute. I pointed up towards the much angrier sky. "I hate the rain." I answered simply. I don't think I was prepared for her response, though.

She was laughing…a lot. She clutched her stomach tightly and nearly fell over with mirth. "Oh my God, Ikuto," she laughed, "you're just like a _real_ cat!" She was a having a fit of giggles, and found it hard to stand up straight. I'm not really sure what was so funny, but I smiled because she smiled. She looked so warm. Amu just had that special trick about her. She could always make the people around her smile.

"C'mon," she tugged on my sleeve, smiling, "let's go home." I gladly complied, but before we took even one more step forward she quickly turned to give me her most dangerous looking face.

"But when we get there you _will_ answer my question."

**(A/N): WOO! Ch 2 is done! And I finished a day earlier than I expected! X3 go me! Yay! Lol I really like this chapter (bc there's lots of Ikuto goodness XD) and I can't wait to upload some more! Thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! XD please stick around for ch 3! :3**

**Bye bye~3**


	3. Cold

**(A/N): hello all! ^^ glad to see everyone back again! :D I just finished watching shugo chara party! Ep 23, and I am seriously irritated by the COMPLETE lack of Ikuto!! D,X so this story has become doubly fun to write bc now I can write what I wish to happen! ^^ with no fillers! :D yay! Plz enjoy the newest chapter of "who I truly love"! thank you for reading and reviewing XD**

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**Amu's POV**:

When we reached my house those fat, waiting rain clouds had finally decided to let go of all of the coldest water they'd been holding on to. We burst through my front door like flood victims being pulled out of a raging river that used to be a street. I was gasping and freezing. I was shivering down to my bones. It was still too early for mom or dad to be home, so I wasn't too worried about Ikuto coming in through the front door instead of my bedroom window. Ah, stupid Ikuto. He didn't seem affected by the rain and running at all. I was still catching my breath. I had my hands on my knees, leaning forward, trying to get the stitch out of my side. We pretty much ran three straight blocks so we could beat the rain.

"So why aren't you tired?" I was irritated by his lack of fatigue. He was just standing there next to me, still in front of the door, and beginning to take his shoes off. "Hey, don't take those off here! My parents'll know there's someone else in the house. You gotta leave your shoes in my room."

He gave me a sideways glance, smirked, and said, "I'm not tired, because I'm in shape. Maybe you're so tired, because you're fat." He poked my ribs, and tried to pinch some flab. _Oh, he was so gonna die_.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU TSUKIYOMI IKUTO!!" I tried to death-punch him, but he easily dodged my throws.

"I just hope you won't try to eat me…" he teased. I lunged at him and his stupid face again. Maybe if I roughed up his looks a bit he wouldn't tease me as much anymore. But instead of dodging me, this time he grabbed my arms, and we both fell to the floor. Oh crap, I fell on top of him…

"On second thought," he whispered in my ear, "you can eat me if you want too…"He grinned that stupid grin again. I grabbed a nearby pillow, and smacked him on the head with it. He released his hold on my arms, and I immediately jumped up and glared at him. I could feel my blush on my face. Stupid face…no wait, _Ikuto_ was the one to blame…stupid Ikuto. I gave him my best death glare for a little while longer before I noticed something bright and yellow out of the corner of my eye. Confused, I looked away from the stupid stray, and made my way over to the kitchen counter. On it was a yellow sticky note from my mother's office in our house. While I was reading it Ikuto sauntered behind me, and hugged me around the waist, resting his head on my shoulder.

"So what's the news?" He sounded bored, or like he was _trying_ to sound bored.

"It's a note from my parents." I handed him the yellow paper, "says they're going to be really late coming back from work today."

"How late is late?" He reached for the paper, but didn't let go of my hands. He let the paper fall, and intertwined his fingers with mine. Then he tucked his head into the curve of my neck, letting his nose and lips rest on my shoulder. His other arm was still wrapped around my waist.

I could feel my face burning red. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I could hear it throbbing in my ears.

"I-I don't know." I tried to sound calm and normal. "Sometimes that means like 10 at night, and sometimes that means I won't see them until the next morning." Finally I just exhaled, and asked him exactly what I had been wondering.

"Why do you always do that?" My face was still hot, but since he wasn't looking at me I was hoping he wouldn't notice.

He muffled out his answer from my shoulder, so it was kinda hard to hear.

"Do what?"

Like he didn't know. "Hang all over me like this. You've been doing it since the day we met, pretty much, and I was just wondering why." I expected him to answer with some smart ass remark, but what he actually said surprised me.

"…because you're warm." He was keeping his head buried in my neck, his hand was still intertwined with mine, and his other arm tightened around me with those words. I didn't know what to say. I'm not even sure what that meant. I'm not his personal hot blanket that he can just wrap around himself whenever he wanted to stay warm.

"I don't think I understand…" I was looking at my feet. I had never had a man embrace me like this. It was really embarrassing, and it made me blush like crazy, but…it felt sort of…nice…it felt safe, _and_ warm. "But, you're pretty warm too, Ikuto." I whispered.

I felt his body stiffen when I said that, and he finally lifted his head and let me go. At least, until he cupped my face within his hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I was blushing again, an even deeper red, I'm sure. I tried to avoid his eyes, but he held me firmly in place with his warm hands. He was being very gentle, though…

"You're wrong, little Amu." He rubbed my bottom lip lightly with his thumb, "I'll always be cold." He smirked, but his smile never reached his eyes. I still didn't really understand what he meant, but it sounded so…_sad_.

He let his hands fall slowly from my face, and back to his sides. Then flopped himself onto the nearest couch.

"Eh?" I couldn't really move for a second or two, but when Ikuto flicked on the TV, and propped his feet up on the ottoman I stomped into the living room.

"And just _who_ said you could make yourself at home?" He found a bag of chips on the floor next to the couch, and began munching.

"Well, since your parents are going to be late I don't have to hide out in your room all day, do I?" He stuffed a couple more chips in his mouth, and mumbled something about not watching TV in a long time.

Boy, did he know how to ruin a mood. I suddenly shivered again. Oh yeah, with Ikuto all over me I had forgotten I was cold. I glanced up to see Ikuto's face. It was blank. The TV was on, and he was looking at it, but it seemed like he wasn't really paying attention to it. His mind was elsewhere. I shivered again. Hm, I should probably go take a bath before I catch cold. I really don't wanna leave Ikuto alone down here, though.

"You have something you need to do?" Ikuto was still looking at the TV, so his question startled me a bit.

"Huh?"

"You're preoccupied, so if you need to go do something don't worry about me." He swung his head lazily to glance over in my direction putting on his most innocent face. "I promise I'll run up to your room and hide if your parents come home just like a good little house cat." His grin was sort of lop sided, and showed off one of his fangs.

For some reason his fake innocence (which to the untrained eye would look totally convincing) was very irritating to me. "Yeah, you'd better." I crossed my arms, and looked away from his piercing blue eyes. "I'm going to take a bath." I quickly ambled over to the foot of the stairs, and took one last look at Ikuto before I headed up. He had retrieved the throw blanket from behind the couch, and was now wrapped up in it. I thought about what he said about being cold all the time. Maybe he'd want a bath after me? I doubt he meant that he was _literally_ cold, but maybe warming up his physical body would help the coldness he was feeling _inside_ too.

I turned away from him, and took the stairs two at a time. Augh, I was really _cold_! A hot bath would be exactly what I needed. After retrieving a change of clothes from my room I turned the hot water on full blast, and jumped in the warm, inviting tub.

**Ikuto's POV:**

I could hear the water from Amu's bath rushing through the pipes in the walls around me. I enjoyed the sound. It sounded like a real home. Just a nice normal sound.

…Ahhh, I shouldn't be thinking like this. This is Amu's warm home.

_Not mine_.

But just to imagine a home like this, where your greatest worry would be what you were going to wear to school, or what homework you'd have to do.

No _real_ worries.

Just a cozy happy home.

I clutched the warm, soft blanket tightly around myself. It was green and had a checkered pattern of cascading light and dark greens all over it. It matched the furniture. I sighed. Crap, I really wanted to stay here.

I didn't want to go back _there_.

Not to that cold place full of those cold faces.

I wanted to feel _safe_ for once!

I wanted to feel welcomed and wanted.

I…

wanted to stay _here_.

But, Amu doesn't want me. She's in love with the little king, right?

Not with me.

I tossed my head back, and stared at the ceiling, thinking.

If she really didn't want to be around me then she would've pushed me away all those times I clung to her, and hung all over her.

Then, I suddenly realized it.

She's _never_ pushed me away. No, she's always done the _opposite_. When she knew I was in trouble she went out _looking_ for me. She was worried about _me_. She's been thinking about _me_. So…what did this mean? Or rather, what did this mean to _me_? True, I loved being around Amu. She was able to make me forget about all the cold and darkness that usually surrounded my dim life. She was _my_ shining light. She could make me smile more than anyone, and laugh too. _Really laugh_. She was the only person with whom I could be myself, and I'm pretty sure it's the same for her. Just like when we were in the amusement park together that night. Both of us can easily be ourselves when with the other. Even if we don't mean to. We always let down our guard when around each other.

I suddenly stood straight up from the couch when an outrageous thought suddenly struck me. The blanket fell softly around my ankles.

_What if…_

My eyes suddenly widened.

_What if I…_

I could feel my heart racing. I clutched at my chest.

_What if I loved Amu?_

All of a sudden I felt a chill run up my spine. The cold that had been living inside me these past few days was making its way through my veins again…straight into my mind.

I gripped the sides of my head with my hands, trying to hold myself together.

It hurt.

Everything _hurt_.

The edges of my vision were beginning to darken. My heart was beating so fast it felt like an attack. I gasped and tried to reach for air. It felt like I was being dunked under ice cold water by a strong, hateful hand. I couldn't find my way to the surface. Swiftly the strength from my legs left me. I fell to the floor hard.

And then there was the voice. The ice cold voice from the pit of my dark soul.

_You are alone._

My head was splitting apart. My heart was being torn to shreds. I clutched at my chest trying desperately to hold it together.

_Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you. _

Every wound was filled in with darkness and ice.

_Black cats are hated. Black cats are bad luck. Everyone would be happier if you were gone. _

I was about to black out. I could sense the sweet bliss of unconsciousness closing in on me.

_You should just disappear. Just die. Die._

My head felt like someone was beating it with a sledgehammer. My whole body was ice cold and heavy. I couldn't move. I was nothing but dead weight.

_Die._

I couldn't breathe.

_Die._

Suddenly the blackness that was invading my vision completely took over.

…and the whole world was nothing but darkness…

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**(A/N): aaaaaand there's the end of chapter 3! :D this one was a bit longer than the previous ones wasn't it? X3 hope you all liked it! At least enough to stick around for chapter 4 :D lol I hope it didn't get to confusing for anyone at the end there. If you think about it, Ikuto slept a whole lot while he was staying at Amu's house due to the effect of the "X" violin. This is just what I think it felt like for him every time the "X" violin had its effect on Ikuto. Not pleasant! D: lol and no, I didn't forget about the question amu asked from the last chapter. That'll come up again in a bit ^^…**

**Oh! Oh! I just finished two shugo chara comedy amv's that I'd been working on for awhile! XD I'm pretty proud of them, and would appreciate it if some of you guys checked them out! XD here are the links:**

"**Llamas with shugo charas": .com/watch?v=3wlg4ffFr_s**

"**Shugo Chara LOL Parody": .com/watch?v=N8ueo33ToGA**

**And in case anyone missed it the first time I wrote it: I update this story every Friday or Saturday. I've never been late, and I've been early once ^^ lol so that way you know when to expect the next chapter! :D hope everyone has a great weekend!**

**Bye bye!**

**-Cui ^^**


	4. Ikuto's Nightmare BONUS CHAPTER

**(A/N): OMG I'M SO SORRY!!! Yes I am late…**_**very**_** late! T^T ok so here's my awesome excuse for why I'm so late: on the Friday that I was going to upload the newest chapter my friends kidnapped me and took me to a super-awesome-roller-coaster filled- theme park for the entire Easter weekend (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday) and I had no access to the internet X,D I had a crazy good time, though. And I really needed that. I was getting super stressed out about papers and exams and just blah…Anywho, when I came back to the real world I had two research papers waiting on me, so I had to work on those and they didn't leave me any time to revise ch4 until Thursday. So that's the story XD lol. To make up for my lateness I decided to include this BONUS CHAPTER!!! 8D woo! I was originally going to trash it, because it doesn't have much to do with the story line ( I mean, it does, but not enough to put it in), but I really liked this chapter (it was originally going to be the beginning of ch 4 but I took it out). So, basically this is Ikuto's nightmare that he has after he passes out in the previous chapter. Hope you all enjoy! ^^**

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Ikuto's POV:

There he was again. That dark, slender figure sitting on his throne surrounded by darkness. His whole body was nothing but a black silhouette. His eyes were wide, gaping, and white with no pupils or irises. Spread across his face was a horrifying grin that literally stretched from one ear to the other, or at least it would if he had any ears. His shape was similar to that of an "X" chara if that chara were the size of a slender man, and didn't have the "X" on its head. He stretched out his black slender hand towards me as he always did, and stared at me with amusement in his large white eyes.

"Oh Ikuto, why must we always go through this? It only ever makes you more miserable the more you refuse." He grinned a bit wider, "Because you know that I will _never_ quit until you are _mine_." His voice was surprisingly loud and booming. It seemed to echo across the dark space we were in. He sounded like a bass voice in a choir, while at the same time sounding like a deadly hissing snake. That demon's voice was disgusting as always. It made me feel sick.

"It seems as though even if I'm unconscious I still don't get any peace." I was determined to look anywhere but into those white eyes. I said that statement to no one in particular. It was just a fact.

"Eh?" He grinned wider. "Peace is what you want, is it?" He chuckled darkly, amused. One of his white eyes was raised as if he were raising an invisible eyebrow. He rested his arms on his knees, and his face in his hands. "That is _impossible_."

He suddenly leaped from his throne and stood face to face with me, our noses nearly touching. I almost fell over in surprise. What the hell?!

"But, that only applies to _you_, Ikuto. If you join with _me_ I can make sure that at least your little pink-haired _princess_ gets the peace she deserves." He leered at me through those opaque eyes. "That is what you truly want, is it not?"

"What is?" Defiantly and despite myself I glared in to those gaping eyes that I had been trying to avoid.

He grinned as wide as I had ever seen him.

"Her _peace_." He broke in to a sudden fit of loud laughter clutching at his sides, and pointing at me with his slender fingers. "Oh, Ikuto! You're such a good man!" he sneered, " You don't want anyone to suffer, so you try to carry all the burden, right? Well, consider this the last one that you will ever have to carry!"

My heart suddenly throbbed. I could feel it beating faster and faster. It felt like I was going to have a heart attack. All those memories…everyone that I've hurt…My mother, Utau, Tadase…Amu…came rushing at me. I felt small trickles of water rushing down my cheeks.

I clutched at my heart, and it throbbed even harder. I cried out in pain, and fell to my knees. I could feel his cold claws digging into my shoulders. I stared up in to those empty pallid holes he called eyes, and began screaming. I was scared, I was in pain, I was confused, I screamed louder. "_WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"_

The dark demon was no longer carrying that evil grin. He stared with all seriousness back at me when he replied.

"I want your _freedom_, Ikuto." He placed his dark cold hands on the side of my face, catching all my falling tears, and whispered in my ear, "Give me that, and you will _never _have to suffer again. I can make it _all go away_…"

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**(A/N): Just in case that was a little confusing let me explain :D The dark man that is talking to Ikuto is supposed to be the tainted character from the black egg that comes from his corrupted violin. He is trying to convince Ikuto to completely lose himself to the evil within him, and let the other character take over. He wants Ikuto to "chara-nari" in to Death Rebel. The reason why I decided to not continue with this is because the time frame I gave for my story (23-26 of Doki) you never see Death Rebel. Its not until Amu screams for Ikuto to get out that he finally sort of lets the dark character take over, more or less. I really wanted to focus on the romance of Amuto in my story, so that's why I decided to take this out ^^ if you're still confused then just pretend this bonus chapter never happened ;D lol**

**Oh! And does anybody instantly think of Adam Lambert's song "Whadya Want from Me?" when Ikuto is screaming?...i do! XD**

**Til next time~**

**STAY TUNED FOR THE REAL CHAPTER 4!!! XD**


	5. Laughter

**(A/N): Once again, sorry I'm so late! But here's the real chapter 4! Yay! I was going to promise that I would never make you guys wait that long again, but who knows with my life these days ^^; especially with finals and a million page papers due X,D lol but I did manage to watch the final episode of Shugo Chara! :D it definitely fell way short of my expectations, and it seems like I'll have to read the manga to get a real ending (but I was planning on getting the manga anyway XD) BUT AT LEAST IKUTO CAME BACK!!! XD that made me crazy happy! Anywho, I hope you all enjoy the newest chapter of "who I truly love"! :D see you next time!**

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**Amu's POV:**

I tried to get out of that bathroom as fast as possible. I yanked the shower lever off, and nearly tore the shower curtain off the pole. I glanced around for some clothes, but then remembered that I didn't take any into the bathroom. I couldn't waste anymore time! I knew what I had heard. That awful, dead-sounding "_thwump" _of a body hitting the floor_. _ I guess I couldn't actually know for sure what that scary sound was, but I could feel the true answer in the pit of my soul.

_Ikuto! _

I was so scared. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. What if Ikuto was-_no_! I couldn't think like that.

In my haste I decided to just grab a towel from the bathroom closet and wrap it around myself. I was still soaking wet, and the tub was still full of water when I ran out of the room, but I didn't care. I took the stairs two at a time, and nearly tripped on the puddles I was leaving behind. It felt like it took forever to reach that last step. When finally did…I saw him…lying on the floor-oh God! He wasn't moving. I ran to him. I fell on my knees and grabbed his head.

"Ikuto!"

I noticed a small trickle of blood sliding down the side of his face. He had a cut on his forehead from when his head hit the floor. His skin felt so cold to my touch.

"_Ikuto_!" I was screaming. I could feel tears streaming down my already wet face.

"Ikuto, _please_!" His body was limp. I was holding his head in my hands. I gently shook him, and cried his name over and over again.

He wouldn't answer me. I could feel myself trembling. I gently placed his head back on the floor, afraid that I would drop him. I frantically glanced around myself for help. I could call the police, or the hospital. I don't know. I didn't know what to do! I was crying and sobbing like an idiot! And Ikuto was there…not moving…when suddenly…

"…_cold_…"

"Ikuto?!" He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but his body was starting to convulse. I grabbed the green throw blanket that was wrapped around his feet and through it over the both of us without thinking. I wrapped my arms around his body, and rested my forehead on his neck. He did always call me "warm". So hopefully myself and this blanket would be enough. His body _was_ beginning to feel warmer…

My hair was still soaking wet from my bath and was leaving trails of water trickling down my face onto his neck. He shivered and then…he opened his eyes.

"Ikuto?" It was dark. The sun had begun to set and we were both fully covered from the blanket wrapped around us. The last fleeting rays of sun that shown through the windows cast a sort of green glow on the two of us underneath the throw blanket. I guess the storm was over.

"Hm.."Was his mumbled reply. I waited patiently for him to say more. I kept my arms wrapped around his body, my head resting on the nape of his neck, and my legs intertwined with his. It was all instinct. I just wanted to keep him warm. I hadn't even taken a moment to think about what we looked like. He suddenly wrapped his own arms around my waist, and pulled me tightly against his body. He lowered his head so that it rested in my hair.

It would've been impossible for the two of us to have gotten any closer…

…well not _impossible. _

Ah! Did I really just think that!? I could feel my face turning red. I felt hot. Ikuto chuckled into my hair.

"You really are warm." He whispered. I blushed deeper.

"Are you okay? You really scared me." I whispered back into his neck. I don't know why I was whispering too, but it sort of felt like if I spoke louder than a whisper something would break.

"…because my body doesn't matter…" he whispered.

"Huh?" I was really confused. "I asked if you were okay. What are you talking about?"

He chuckled again. "That's why I don't take the danger I'm in seriously," He raised his head from my hair, then rested his forehead on mine so he could look in my eyes, "because my body doesn't matter."

His eyes looked so…_sad_. I've never seen Ikuto look so fragile. His deep blue eyes were somehow dark and clouded. I didn't like that. "That's not true, y'know. Your body is very important to a lot of people." He chuckled again, and his eyes seemed a bit brighter. Just like a sun that was trying to break through the dark clouds of a storm. I was determined to help that sun.

"No," he was still smiling, "my body isn't of any consequence, but the ones that I protect," his arms tightened around me, "their bodies are very important." My face became very hot when he said that.

"Why…?" I started to ask…then I decided to change my question, "Why do you always take forever to answer my questions?" It seemed like ages ago that I asked him this, rather than just a few hours.

He chuckled, and then…he broke out in to real laugh. His body was shaking with mirth. I had never seen him laugh like this before. He was being loud. I smiled and started laughing too. The sun had come through his eyes, but those waiting storm clouds were just on the edges threatening to come back into Ikuto's eyes. I decided then and there to do whatever I could to keep those dark clouds away from his eyes.

When our laughter finally died down Ikuto lifted the blanket off of us, and we both sat up and stretched. It had really started to get hot under there. I glanced over at Ikuto while he stretched and smiled. He really was like a cat. He would stretch with his arms out in front of him and his backside in the air just like a cat would do when it woke up after enjoying a good nap. I could almost see his ears and tail sticking out in kitty-like pleasure. He let out a loud yawn then opened his eyes, and stared at me. His eyes ran up my legs, across my chest, and into my eyes. He pointed at me like a child that was tattling on another and said matter-of-factly, "That's a good look for you."

I stared down at myself having forgotten what it was I was wearing.

Oh God!

_I totally forgot_!

I was-I WAS NAKED!!! All I had on was the pink towel from the bathroom wrapped around me, and that barely covered anything. Mortified, I clutched at my towel.

"So do you often hug boys when you're soaking wet and practically naked?" He smirked.

I screamed, "You pervert! Don't look at me!" I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at his face. Before he could even pull it away I threw another, which made him fall over, and then high-tailed it up the stairs to my room. But before I could even make it to the first step Ikuto had decided to throw a pillow at me as payback. It hit me square on the back where I had made the knot holding my towel up. What happened next only took a second, but it seemed like hours. Everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion. The pillow he had thrown at me had hit hard enough to undo the knot, and with one foot on the first step on the stair I watched my towel fall from my body and quickly land near my ankles. It took me so much by surprise I didn't even have a chance to grab it.

Oh God…

_Oh my God!!_

My face burned brighter than it ever has before. Horrified, I quickly glanced up and saw Ikuto staring at my naked body, wide eyed, with a shocked look on his face. _He was blushing_. He looked like he was in some sort of trance. For a second he scanned my exposed body up and down, and then finally broke his stupor to look at my mortified face. He seemed anxious, and tried to look away. He wasn't able to, though. So he settled for looking into my horrified eyes. "I-I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to-"

I screamed, and ran up the stairs to my room. I had briefly thought about grabbing the towel to try and cover myself, but it seemed pointless now. I could feel my eyes starting to tear up. It was becoming hard to see.

I-I have _never_ been so embarrassed! No! Embarrassed isn't even a good enough word! I was _mortified_! I slammed the door to my room shut, and leaned against it. I started to cry like a baby. I was just so…_humiliated_. I mean I was in front of Ikuto….COMPLETELY _NAKED_!! Oh God, I couldn't even bare to face him now.

Suddenly…very softly…there was a knock at my door. His voice came from the other side barely over a whisper. "Amu?"

I didn't answer.

"Please Amu…I didn't mean to…I-I'm really _really_ sorry."

I sighed. As humiliated as I was it really wasn't like he intentionally tried to take my towel off. I wasn't being fair. "Clothes." I muttered.

"What?" He sounded relieved to hear my voice. Despite myself I had to smile.

"Let me put on some clothes!" I shouted back. It wasn't a "mean" shout, and I think he understood that because he answered back in a normal smart-ass-Ikuto way.

"I'm hungry."

"And what do I look like a fridge? Go make a sandwich or something." I found a black shirt and decided to wear it with my black and white plaid skirt, and black and white striped thigh-high socks. Slowly I could feel my humiliation dying down.

"I want you to cook something for me." He mumbled from behind my door.

"What? Why?" I found a shiny, black cross hair pin and made my usual side pony tail with it.

"Because I'm hungry."

I opened my door with an irritated look on my face. He was leaning against the door frame and scanning my outfit up and down with a smile. "What?"

He put his hand on his chin as though he were going to say something thoughtful, but I knew better.

"Well," he started, "While I _would_ love you cooking I'm sure it would be just awful so-"

"What was that!?" Death glare…maybe I could make his head explode with my mind.

"-since you're dressed in such a cute outfit I say we go out to eat." He smiled at me, and offered me his hand.

My face burned bright red…again. I mean seriously was there any limit to how much blood could go into my face!? "What?"

He grinned even wider, and swiftly grabbed my hand. "Let's go on date, Amu."


	6. Love?

**(A/N) OMG I'M NOT DEAD! XD isn't that great? Sorry if you guys thought I had abandoned this story, I've just been going through a lot this past month (my mom and step dad divorcing, moving out of the house, final research papers, final exams, my laptop crashing etc) so I haven't had the time to write like I used to T^T BUT now I'm back, and rest assured I'm seeing this story through to the end! It may just take a bit longer than planned to upload all of it :,D but actually I'm almost finished writing it, I just need to work out the kinks before I put it all out for show :D Also I would like to add that on my super long 13 page research paper(I had to rewrite a part from a short story we read in class from another character's point of view) I MADE A 95! WOOO! XD ahhh! I was so happy I almost cried. Hooray for an A+! :D now I can really enjoy my summer vacation…**

**Anywho…please enjoy the long awaited next chapter for **_**Who I Truly Love**_**! Thank you all SOOO much for reading! You are the motivation that keeps me writing! Thank you! *hugs***

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**Amu POV:**

"What?"

Ikuto was staring back at me like I was an idiot. "Do I really have to say it again?" True this was his third time repeating himself, but I still didn't get it, so I nodded. He sighed with a smile. "Let's go on a date, Amu."

As if in response to his offer, my stomach growled loudly. Oh God, seriously? I was so embarrassed that my red face never even got a chance to get back to its normal color.

Ikuto chuckled, "Well, I guess your stomach answered for you." He started to head down the stairs, "Whenever you're finished getting ready I'll be waiting for you down here."

What? WHAT? What the hell just happened? How did the most humiliating, emotional rollercoaster of a day end up with me going on a date with Ikuto! I shut my bedroom door carefully, and then ran to my mirror. I checked my hair again, it looked presentable (there were those irritating little frizzies that never went down no matter how much hair product I put on, so I decided to let them go free range rather then battle with them again), I checked my face and it looked fine (depressingly normal, but free of any pimples or unwanted hair), and finally I took a once-over of my outfit and decided that my black and white Converses would be the best match for a shoe. After all, it _was_ raining outside. It would be stupid to wear anything other then tennis shoes. Rain boots would be the even smarter option, but I was _so_ not going to wear those out on my first date.

My heart was beating a mile a minute. At first I thought it was because of how embarrassed I was earlier, but this wasn't the sort of feeling you get when you're upset. I took a quick glance in the mirror before heading out my room. I was…smiling. I was practically glowing, really. That really fast beating of my heart was because I was _excited_. But why? It was just stupid perverted Ikuto taking me out. My heart really belongs to Tadase-kun, right?

I little nagging voice in my head seemed to say _'why are you so excited then?'_

I don't know.

'_Is it because you maybe like Ikuto more than just a friend?'_

That's impossible! I mean, I do love Ikuto, but more like a brother or a dear friend!

'_Then why haven't you ever called him Ikuto-kun, or Tsukiyomi-kun? If he was just a friend why do you call him intimately by his first name without even one honorific?'_

Well that's because I…

That's because we…

Well, he's never called me Amu-chan, or Amu-san, or, Amu-kun! He's never called me Hinamori-san, or Hinamori-kun, or Hinamori-chan!

'_Exactly…'_

Ugh, why was I having this argument with myself?

I was leaning against my doorway. I still hadn't gone downstairs. I couldn't face him now. I slid down to the floor, sat with my arms around my knees, and my knees against my chest, balled up in a tight little cage within myself. I suddenly couldn't move. Why was it that Ikuto and I always spoke to each other so intimately? Why is it that whenever Ikuto is close to me I get butterflies? Why is it that he always knows what to say to cheer me up? Why is it that I always know when he's truly in pain?

I clutched at my heart. It was throbbing wildly in my chest.

Could I possibly…be in lo-?

"Yo, Amu! You ready yet? I'm starving!" Ikuto called from downstairs, interrupting my reverie.

"Yeah I'm ready! Just hold your horses for a sec!" I called back.

I didn't mean to. I put my hand over my mouth, and felt my own returning smile. It was so easy to respond to Ikuto. With Tadase-kun I always felt like I was tripping over my words, and I never really got to be myself. With Ikuto it was so easy to just be laid back, and not worry about what he thought of me. Maybe that was why it became so easy to talk to him. I was always trying to impress Tadase-kun, but I never cared what Ikuto thought of me in the first place so I was always myself with him.

I walked over to the bathroom, and drained the bubbly water from my bath. I could feel my blush returning as I remembered why it was I didn't drain the tub as soon as I got out of it. I sighed. I really didn't know what to think right now.

"Is it really possible?" I whispered to myself. I put both of my hands on the tub while I watched the soapy water swirl down the drain.

"Could I really be…in love with Ikuto?"

**Ikuto's POV:**

I was standing in the doorway of the bathroom hidden by the darkness of the hallway. I watched Amu as she stared at the draining bath water. I had just meant to sneak up here and scare her just to get back at her for taking so long to get ready, but I never expected to overhear something like…_that_. Should I say something? Should I just leave, and pretend like I didn't hear anything?

I wanted to go to her, though. I wanted to hold her like I always do. I wanted to tease her, and then watch as her face burned bright red. For me it was never a matter of love. She was just Amu. She was the girl I could be with, and not have to worry about whether or not I was doing something right. I could just be myself, and just those short periods of time that we're together always made me happy.

Maybe that was love? I wouldn't know. The only person that ever said they truly 'loved' me was Utau, and I don't think that counts. I'm just a guy, after all. All that lovey-dovey stuff was for the girls, right?

I took a few quiet, backward steps away from the bathroom door, deciding to go with my 'just walk away and pretend like I didn't hear anything' plan, when Amu suddenly sniffed loudly. I stopped in my tracks, and watched as she lifted her slender arms to wipe her face. Was she…? No, she couldn't actually be…

I watched as a small trickle of water fell from her eyes.

She was really crying…

I knew what to do then.

I walked back towards the bathroom door, and opened it fully letting it hit the wall with a '_wump_'. Amu, startled, jumped and looked towards the sound. When she saw me standing there she placed her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

"I-Ikuto, what're you…?"

I closed the distance between us in one stride, and trapped her in my arms with a tight embrace.

We stayed like that for a long time, or at least it seemed that way to me, before I whispered in her ear, "Why are you crying?"

She didn't answer me right away, but seemed to be choosing her words with care. "Because I'm confused, and that irritates me." She finally said.

I chuckled. That was such an 'Amu' answer. "So you cry when you're irritated?" I was slightly surprised that she hadn't pushed me away yet like she normally does whenever I hug her.

"No, not really. I've just never been this confused before, so I guess I don't really know _how_ to react." She whispered back. I might've imagined it, but it seemed just then like she was holding me tighter.

Finally, I asked the one question I'd been avoiding, yet also trying to lead up to, "What _exactly_ are you confused about, Amu?" I whispered as I brushed a strand of her pink hair away from her face, and tucked it carefully behind her ear.

It was as if someone had just flipped on her 'blush' switch. I could feel the heat from her face through my clothes, right onto my chest. The feeling was…quite nice.

Amu suddenly pushed me away, and wiped the remaining tears from her face. She wore a convincing smile, and seemed like she was trying to sound optimistic. "Well, I guess I'll figure that out eventually for myself." she avoided my eyes, "Ready when you are, Ikuto." She started out the bathroom door without looking back.

I raised an eyebrow at her, amused at her sudden 'chara-change', if you will. Who did she think she was fooling? "Y'know, your little 'fake smile' routine may work on the little prince, but you should know better than to think you could fool me with your lame acting."

Amu stopped walking, but didn't turn around, so I moved towards her, and grabbed onto one of her hands. She looked up at me with sad and surprised eyes. I didn't look back at her, but instead continued walking.

"If you're that determined to pretend, then just for you I'll go along with it." I smirked at her, and she blushed. "Well, then without further-ado, I believe it's time we left for our date."

I ushered her out of her house, and we walked hand-in-hand down the side walk.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked carefully. It seemed like she was trying not to reveal anything in her voice about what she was confused about. I suppose it was too bad I already knew…

"Hmm," I said in mock thought already knowing from the start where it was I was going to take her, "Someplace that will bring a real smile to your lovely lips." I teased.

She didn't respond, but instead kept glancing around the empty sidewalks we passed. She didn't let go of my hand either, though, and that was enough to make me smile.

"Um, Ikuto…?" She continued to glance around us.

"Yeah?" I wasn't looking at her, but rather trying to decide which way would be the best to enter our date spot.

"Aren't you worried?" She glanced up at me with her worried golden eyes.

Was she asking me if I was worried about my 'princely' competition for her? Did I even consider him competition? I stared into those golden orbs for a second longer trying to decide for myself.

Did I love Amu enough to try and steal her away from that 'little prince'? My eyes widened, and I suddenly looked away from Amu.

"Ikuto? You okay?" She sounded concerned, but I couldn't look back at her just yet. My mind was running at a mile a minute. Could I really be that dense? Did I honestly just realize it now?

A smile was slowly creeping up on my face, and with a wide grin I glanced back into Amu's lovely eyes. With a sudden realization I thought to myself, 'Did I love her enough to steal her away? What a dumb question! The real question is 'Do I love her?'

"Amu, I just realized," I started talking quickly, eager for my new revelation to be out of my lips, "I love you!"

I closed the distance between us in one swift moment, and placed my lips right on her surprised, soft mouth. Her eyes were wide, and her body was stiff for a moment. Then, I felt her body melt in my arms, she was embracing me in return, and before I knew it…

she was kissing me back.

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**(A/N): Woo! Nice ending, huh? Man, I've wanted them to kiss in the anime for SOOOO LOOONG! XD aaah! I really need to read the manga. Everyone keeps telling me its better :D oh! And incase that whole 'honorific' thing confused anybody let me break it down for you: in Japan everyone adds honorifics to the end of everybody's name such as _san, kun, chan, sama, dono_, etc. All show respect and politeness to the person being spoken to/of. Each one varies in the politeness zone, and if you want a real deep and detailed definition of each one I would recommend looking it up. The point I was trying to make (and somehow was never brought up in the anime! :O) is that whenever Ikuto and Amu speak to each other they NEVER use honorifics! People who don't use honorifics when speaking to each other in Japan are basically showing the closeness of their relationship with the other person. This is common when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, really close friends, etc. The same is true for people that refer to each other using their first name. Since Amu and Ikuto don't use honorifics AND refer to each other by their first names it shows that a) they are VERY close and b) they could care less about showing respect to the other person (which I find hilarious XD) hope that helps! Till next time!**

**Thank you all for reading! Here're of virtual hugs for everyone!**

**\(o^3^o)/ *hugs***


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